• 12 Armadillos

Don’t Mess With the TAX MAN!

During the brief period of time I was married to the guy who was addicted to internet porn, lied about being enrolled in graduate school, and never seemed to follow rules, I had my first encounter with the Internal Revenue Service. Many of you probably remember when our economy was in a downturn and the government decided to stimulate the economy by issuing $500.00 tax rebate checks. The idea was that people would spend the money and the places that took the money would use it to buy things and those places would buy things, etc. In order to receive the money you had to have filed your taxes.  Good thing I signed our tax form that year because money was tight “I later learned why”. Every day I would go to the mailbox in anticipation of the check. Every day “he” would say it is coming.  Long story short, we never got the money. Why you ask? Because for three years this lovely person had me sign tax returns but he was too lazy to send them off. Every time I called about our “rebate” we were being flagged because the records showed no filings. By the time we split up I had to make an appointment with the IRS and sort out my past years filings.  The funny thing was that we made so little money that we were always entitiled to money back.  Who is so lazy that they can’t walk to the mailbox to receive money back. Dumb. I learned two valuable lessons: 1. Don’t be ignorant about finances and 2. It doesn’t matter if they owe you or you owe them, it is the LAW that you have to file a tax return.

My next encounter with the IRS came years later when Dave recieved a letter from the IRS. My first thought was, “Oh no, this can not be good”. I knew that the IRS never sent friendly, “Thank you for paying your taxes” letters.  The letter said that we made a mistake on our taxes and owed them $1500.00.  Dave was not worried and told me, “Nope, we don’t owe them, they have made the mistake, I filed them correctly”. I once again reiturated that surely they were right and we made the mistake”.  Long story short, Dave did make a mistake with selling a few stocks and we DID owe money.  Dave was so aggravated about the situation that he asked to be placed on a payment plan.  I believe we are still paying $10.00 or $15.00 dollars a month because of his pride. This blog post about the IRS was inspired by people who feel they are above the law!!!

Teresa and Joe Giuidice (From the Real Housewives of New Jersey).  They spent years on tv flaunting their wealth and acting like idiots.  In one episode Teresa spent thousands on furniture for their new mansion (she said she doesn’t like living in used houses) all in cash.  A few weeks later both she and the furniture store were audited by the IRS.  Apparently she rubbed someone the wrong way and they happened to be employed by the Internal Revenue Service.  Today they were both sentenced to jail time for bankruptcy and conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud.   She gets to start her 15 month sentence in January and then once she is out, her husband gets to start his 41 month sentence and worry about being deported to Italy.  I can’t help wonder if these two “cheats” would still be free if they weren’t fame whores.

Quote from the judge “For a moment I thought about probation…but I think a period of confinement is absolutely necessary in this case, the judge told Teresa. “I don’t honestly believe that you undersatnd or respect the law. I need to send a message. In the eyes of the law, it doesn’t matter who you are. There are consequences to pay. “

Other famous tax cheats:

Do you feel we hold “celebrities” to a higher standard than waitresses who don’t report tips, lawn guys and cleaning ladies who don’t report wages, and if so why?

Did you know that if you are looking to make some extra cash, you can turn in tax cheats to the “Crime Stoppers” of the IRS? No, you can’t turn in your neigbor or ex-wife, but if you work for a very large business and have proof, and they are convicted, you will receive a portion of the retribution.

Finally, to those of you who live in New Jersey. (If you know someone who lives in NJ, post our blog on their fb page and maybe they can get the message to Theresa and Joe) Here are a few “Prison Tips” that Joe and Teresa may find valuable.

1.  Bite Your Tongue- anything you say can be used against you. 2.  Learn the prison rules- most prisons have rule books. 3.  Bring money for concessions, but pretend that you are poor so that others don’t try and take advantage of you. 4.  Don’t trust anyone! 5. Watching Orange is the New Black won’t fully prepare you for this journey. 6. Keep your emotions to yourself (this may be hard for Teresa because she has been known to throw tables at people 7. Always be polite and respectful to prison employees- they can make your “experience” harder if you are rude. 8. Don’t ask people what they did, ask what they are accused of…you know because everyone in prison is “innocent”. 9. Don’t be a snitch and don’t join a gang. 10.  Finally, have FUN!!!!


Brenham, Texas


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