Today’s post is inspired by George Clooney’s recent nuptials. America’s most eligible bachelor who promised he would never marry, has not only married, but he did so in a whirlwind romance that took place over the course of one year.
Let’s examine the facts. 1. He is a VERY good looking man and seems like a nice person. 2. He was a serial dater who was never at a loss for beautiful women. 3. They all wanted him to ask “the question” becuase he is so nice (and of course handsome). 4. He did not ask “the question” because he just was not into them….ok, that is a bit harsh. He liked them, but they were not the loves of his life. 5. When he found “the one” he put a ring on it….fast…
What is my point? George Cloony dated lots of nice, beatufiul, smart women. He was not a “playboy” because he was into the long term (2-3 years) relationships. But it is VERY telling that when the self proclamied bachelor found “the one” he proposed after 6 months and married her shortly after. He was so proud of the relationship that he in no way tried to hide the engagement or nuptials. That is also very telling.
So here is my two cents. Many of you are sick of me saying it over and over and over again (sorry). If YOU are the ONE he will marry you, in fact, he will probably ask you quickly because he knows what a gem you are and won’t want anyone else to snatch you away.
Ok, now onto my soapbox. If you don’t feel like a lecture, I suggest you stop reading right now.
You are my ________________(insert sister, friend, cousin, co-worker, classmate, etc). Please stop dating, (being married to, being engaged to) people who don’t deserve you. You are a beautiful person (inside and out). You deserve the bells and whistles. Life is too short to settle. I am writing this as a hypocrite (at least I get it). I dated lots of guys who I would have settled for. They were all smart, educated, and had a promising future. The problem was that I was more “into” them than they were ‘into me”. That is ok. God has a plan. I know it sounds touche because life turned out very well for me, but I get how it works.
Here is a checklist:
He’s not into you (or you should just cut your losses and move on) if:
1. He does not call or text you EVERYDAY!!!! This “I was busy” excuse is for the birds. It takes two seconds to email, call, text. Trust me, the girl he is “into” he will have the seconds to spare.
2. He never introduces you to his family and friends. (I dated one of these….run, run, and run some more). He is hiding somehting. A wife, girlfriend, fiancee…in my case I believe a fiancee. Of course I found out this after the fact because I would never date a guy who was taken!
3. He goes a day or two without contacting you. Sorry, he’s just not into you.
4. He puts his guy friends ahead of you.
5. He invites his guy friends or other couples on every date.
6. You have to walk on eggshells around him. You can’t be your true, authentic self because you are afraid he won’t be into you.
7. He let’s you pay for everything, never takes the effort to plan a date, and just goes with the flow. Screw that! You can take care of yourself, but you want a guy who WANTS to take care of you!
8. He makes last minute plans with you or will never fully commit to a Friday night or Saturday night date. Newsflash, he is hedging his bets. If nothing “better” comes along, you will do. Why settle for that?
9. He makes you feel insecure about your relationship.
10. You are not the love of his life. In fact, you are still playing games.
So, in conclustion all of you lovely ladies. Life is WAAAAY too short to settle. Marriage, kids, and the whole kitten caboodle is wonderful, beatuiful, and special. But is is also hard and filled with bumps. Why add the extra stress of a relationsihp where one party settled? You both deserve to be with someone “YOU ARE INTO”, the “WHOLE PACKAGE”.
From, someone who has been there, done that, made mistakes, and learned….
Quotes from Greg Behrendt, author of “He’s Just Not That Into You”
“A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves” “Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You are deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you.” “It’s very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for much, much less — even a vague pathetic facsimile of less — than you would have ever imagined. Remember always what you set out to get and please don’t settle for less. These guys exist because there are a lot of women out there who allow them to.” “I’m tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.” “The quickest way to rectify that mistake (choosing the wrong person) is by learning from that, moving on, and choosing much more wisely in the future.” “If a guy truly likes you, but for personal reasons he needs to take things slow, he will let you know that immediately. He won’t keep you guessing, because he’ll want to make sure you don’t get frustrated and go away.” “Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?” “But he was so great!’ Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation” “There will never be a good time, financially, to get married, unless you’re Shaq or Ray Romano. But somehow people manage. If your man is using money as an excuse not to marry you, it’s your relationship that’s insecure, not his bank account” “Wasting time with the wrong person is just time wasted.”