I Should Have Learned From Jason #1
Jason’s are just not my thing. My ex-husband was a Jason. No offense against anyone named Jason (one of my good friends is married to the nicest Jason), but God clearly has sent several signs that I should not date, or be married to anyone with a name that sounds like Jason.
Here is one of my many dating disaster stories, unfortunately for me; this one was stretched out because of long distance.
Here is the story: I was newly single and heartbroken living in Houston and my roommate suggested I meet a group of them out for a happy hour (I was 25). There happened to be two Marine helicopter pilots that somebody knew. They lived in San Diego and were in Houston because they were flying one of their helicopters across the country. They both seemed nice but I didn’t really think about either of them as a possible date because I didn’t want to do “long distance” relationships. What’s the point? Anyway, there was something wrong with a part on their helicopter and their one day stay turned into two, and then turned into 10 days. Meanwhile they were calling me up to meet up with them and show them around. Jason seemed fun and we had a great time. He wanted to try “long distance” and I said I wasn’t really interested. I remember a few days after he got home, he sent me a huge bouquet of flowers.
I did however say that if he flew back to Houston to visit me, then I would fly to San Diego to visit him. Imagine my surprise when a few months later and lots of phone calls, I was picking him up at the airport for a trip to see me. We had a great time, but something was weird about him. He was always talking about his best friend’s wife, Shaunna. She would even call and talk to me and say that he was like a brother and how happy he was that Jason met me. During this period of time Shaunna’s husband was deployed to Iraq.
We had a great weekend and a few months later I was flying out to San Diego to visit him. He took me to lots of cool places and we even met Shauna out for dinner. She was sweet, funny, nice, and VERY BEAUTIFUL! I have to admit I was just having fun because I love traveling and everything seemed exciting. (I even got to sit next to the Gipsy Kings on one of my flights!). After a few trips back and forth (this was over a 6 month period) he asked if I would go on the trip of a lifetime with him, his best friend, and his best friend’s wife. The plan was I would fly out to San Diego right after July 4 and then we would spend 3 weeks driving up the West Coast, up to Canada, back down through Montana, Las Vegas, and then back to San Diego. It sounded PERFCET!!!! He was paying for everything (because I was a broke school teacher) and we would rent a pop up trailer to stay in.
I started getting a weird feeling about the trip because a few weeks before the trip he started being distant. He would call every few days and something seemed off. The problem was that at this point, I really did like him. A few days before the trip I told him he didn’t seem to be “into me” and that I wasn’t going on the trip. He begged and begged me to go. He said all the right things so I stupidly (or not) went. The first few days of the trip were a blast! We were all excited and were just having fun. But the more that I “really got to know him” the more I realized that I really didn’t like things about him. One, he really didn’t seem to be “into me”, two he drank way too much, and three, he seemed to have a crush on his best friend’s wife. I finally realized that he only wanted me to go so that he would not be a third wheel. Instead, I ended up being the third wheel. It was about a week into the trip that all of these things started to make sense.
I remember being in the middle of nowhere and calling Christa, begging her to help me find a flight out of there. I wanted off that trip!!! Fast! She was awesome and tried to find me flights. Meanwhile Jason the jerk found out I was trying to find a plane ticket home. He once again begged and begged for me to stick it out. I guess I was young and dumb (and stupidly still did like him) so I stayed. I decided I would stick it out and treat this as an adventure and appreciate the new places I experienced. We took a helicopter ride over Glacier National Park, we camped out in Yellowstone National Park, we drove along the Pacific Coast Hwy, and saw much more.
How did this crazy trip end? We got back to San Diego the day before my original flight home. I snooped around and found letters from an old high school girlfriend. I guess she contacted him in the middle of our “dating” and he started talking to her. It made complete sense. I guess he had already asked me to go on the trip and they weren’t that serious. Years later after I married the best guy ever, I got a random email from this ex-girlfriend, now wife, soon to be mother of their first child. She found old letters and emails between us and wanted to know the real story. She was devastated because she never knew about me and felt like there was lots of other stuff she must not know about him.
I was so happily married ( I met Dave a couple of months after this trip) and did what I would want done to me if I were in her situation. I lied. I knew I “dodged that bullet (he told when he was younger he burnt down an empty trailer….hello RED FLAGS!). I told her that yes, I did go on the trip, but we were more like friends. Maybe that wasn’t a lie. I truthfully told her that we barely knew each other and that total time spent “dating on real dates was just a few days”. She had nothing to worry about, I met the love of my life, and I wished her the best. I lied (again) and told her I was pregnant (stupid, I know….ego…gotta love it).
Here is what I learned from this CRAZY, TRUE story.
I learned that you should listen to red flags when dating and inner gut.
I learned everything happens for a reason, good and bad.
I learned that this was a trip I would like to replicate (somewhat) with my “true love”. Someone that would “be into me” and have a blast on this type of trip. (Christa and I actually replicated some of it (Monterrey to San Francisco) with our true loves who pushed preggos twins up the hills of San Fran and did not complain.
I learned that his “new wife” had a weird feeling about this “Shaunna girl” and was grateful when I was expecting my first child I wasn’t emailing Dave’s former flames asking questions.
I learned that some Marines and war combats lose their “moral, inner, raw, something”.
Jason had served several tours and was jaded. I sadly feel that his poor beautiful (ironically blonde) wife settled by being with him. He was fun and nice on the outside, but he had too many demons on the inside. He will cheat. He has and will in the future. He will never be on facebook because that would make his cheating harder.
I learned that his wife, just like me, was nice, genuine, and real. Too good for him. Yet, he had the charisma that we were both attracted to. I am the lucky one because he “dumped” me and I was able to find the real deal. The honorable guy who is “so” into me. He loves me good, bad, ugly. He loves me and deals with my ups and downs. He is romantic. He is romantic and writes the sweetest cards and buys me the sweetest presents.
Today I got a facial using a gift card he bought me over a year ago. I haven’t had the time or energy to use it. I was using it and noticed (maybe for the first time) that he wrote “My lovely Corrin” from Dave. It’s the small stuff. It made my day. I get that millions of women would want a guy who would write, “my lovely”. I feel sorry for Jason #2’s wife because unfortunately she settled for what I would have. I would have settled for lots of these college educated guys with charisma, but fortunately for me they weren’t “into me”. It’s funny to say that now because it’s embarrassing. However, I am mature enough to know that my life has been blessed a million and one times. I have a lifelong companion who is : funny, smart, good looking, amazing father, son, brother, just a good person…and he loves me…fat, skinny, pregnant, not pregnant, employed, stay at home mom, etc….He is the real package.
So I guess the lesson of the story is that everyone in life is not perfect, but we are all searching for the perfect life. We have to go through trials and tribulations to appreciate what we have. We have to date and even marry the “not so nice” Jason’s of the world. It makes us stronger, have more personality, and have good true stories to blog about! HA!